The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.