I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.