I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
