I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees