Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize