normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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