Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
