That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
