There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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