Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
