She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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