what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
