that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
