the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
