I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
