During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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