I puked a lego.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
