yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
