She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
