He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
