Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
