I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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