I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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