Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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