Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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