Heybabeimwearingurpanties
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
