So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
