If that was your dad, he is hot
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
