Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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