no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
