apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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