i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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