it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
