oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize