I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
