You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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