I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Someone signed my nipple.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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