I molested 6 butterflies tonight
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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