Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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