Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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