The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
