i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
