we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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