She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
