Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
