return my video game
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
