he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
