those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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