I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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