People in love make me want to vomit
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
