I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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