VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
