i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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