dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
