I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
wow bdsm is so cute
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
