How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Rumble strips road head = magical
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize