i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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