Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
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I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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