haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
