So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
