At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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