What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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