Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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