Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
